An Hour to Spare?!

Somehow.  I don't know how. I probably couldn't do it again if I tried.  I have an HOUR to spare before heading to church this morning!!!   Perhaps pigs are flying outside, I don't know.

So I wanted to take a few minutes and catch up on the blog a bit.  "Blog a bit."  I like that for some reason.

The last two weeks have not been the best.  The kids and I were visited by the stomach bug over a six day period.  There's nothing like being woken in the night to crying and walking into the kid's room to be hit with "that smell."  The smell of throw-ups.  Y.U.C.K.  And then comes the joyful task of cleaning up the child, cleaning up the sheets... what do you do with those dirty dirty sheets?  we don't have a utility sink that is handy for rinsing such business in this house.  Yuck.... then re-making the beds, getting a bucket for the next throw-ups, getting the child tucked back into bed, and finally getting yourself tucked back into bed.  Perhaps the best part of the whole night is getting back into bed (alone... since the hubby is somewhere on the other side of the world) and trying to get that smell out of your nose and THEN wondering if your stomach is swirling because you just cleaned up someone else's throw-ups or because you, yourself, are going to be having throw-ups.  Joy.   Luckily my mom was also visiting, luckili-er (I'm sure that's a word) she managed to leave WITHOUT suffering from the bug.  So the day that I was suffering, she had the kids downstairs or out of the house and I was able to rest.

Then last week, just after we were fully recovered and my mom was safely back in the Midwest, we all got a stuffy-nosed, sore-throated cold.  The kids are fully recovered after missing a few days of school... and a friend's birthday party (boo.).. and I am finally on the mend.  I have a red nose that would make Rudolph envious from all of my nose-blowing.  Speaking of nose-blowing... has anyone used the Kleenex Cool Touch tissues??  I picked them up by accident at the store and am totally amazed by these things.  When you pull them out of the box, they are COOL... to the touch.  I don't know how they make them cold, but they are!  So strange.  I do wish they had a little more soothiness when you use them, but the coolness is pretty nice.

So here we are... finally turning the corner towards health, I hope.  And we are also facing... drum roll please.... a TWO MONTH EXTENSION to the deployment.  Boo. With a capital "B."  Absolutely Boo.  The ironic part was that we found out about our 8-ish week extension when we had just completed 7 weeks.  So... the past 7 weeks have gotten us absolutely NO closer to our homecoming date.  I spent one day being mad and one day being very sad.  But now it has sunk in, my expectations for the next few months have adjusted... remember my Timeless Wonder post... this is the epitome of a Timeless Wonder.  I will blog more about my feelings of the extension another day. Stay tuned, I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats!

Despite the sicks, colds, and extension, things are still going pretty well.  I give a huge amount of credit to my church and the small group that I am part of.  We go to an awesome non-denominational Christian Church called Catalyst in Ventura.  They are the most down-to-earth group of people I have ever attended church with.  They are kind, welcoming, and caring... without being cheesy.  My small group is bringing me dinner once a week, they pray for me and the kids, they pray for Paul without me having to ask for it. Say what you want... those prayers really really work.  Every week when I go to church people ask how Paul is doing, other moms offer to help with the kids if I need it, I'm invited to play dates.   The church is sending Paul some thank-you notes, two or three months of weekly messages on a flash drive, the info for a financial study we are doing with our small group, and a phone card so he can call home. How cool is that?!  It's so nice to have other people acknowledge that Paul is away... and it's not just me thinking of him every day, others are too.  Today... in thirty minutes now... I get to say "Thank you" to our church by sharing a little bit of our deployment story and I'm grateful to have the chance to let them know I appreciate all they do!

Well, it's been thirty minutes with a few interruptions from the kiddos, so it's time to finish getting ready and pack up a diaper bag... and try to add a photo to this post.  It's been nice chatting with you and catching you up on the latest.  Enjoy your Sunday!

Here's a photographic representation of life today:

Kleenex Cool Touch, Clorox Wipes, Hand Sanitizer,
Theraflu (I swear by their nighttime one in particular),
Keurig Folgers French Vanilla coffee, and my Bible

The Timeless Wonder: Deployment

So it's been a month since the last time I found time to write.  A month? A month!  How is that even possible?!  Oh, wait, I know.... I'm living with the Timeless Wonder.  Essentially, during deployment,  "time" means NOTHING.

On one hand, it seems like time is going so s.l.o.w.l.y.  It hasn't even been 7 weeks since we started this big, bad adventure of deployment.  I feel like I haven't seen my husband in-person for AGES.  I haven't had a dinner with him in EONS. I haven't snuggled up and watched a movie with him in SUCH A LONG TIME.

How is it possible we've only been doing this for 7 weeks and we have sooooooo many more weeks left?!

Time must be slowing down. I mean, really, it must be. Like, the Earth is rotating at a slower pace making every day stretch on forever.  Is this possible?  I've checked the news blogs and all, but no one else is commenting on longer days, weeks, or months... so I guess it must be the Timeless Wonder.

Then on the other hand, there NEVER seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done.

Let's do a little daily run-through, shall we:
A Day in the Life of Momma B with the Three
wake up
give "get dressed" instructions to the bigger kids
get self dressed/brush teeth/brush hair
get littlest up/diapered/dressed
downstairs
make coffee (am considering moving the Keurig into my bedroom...is that weird?)
sip coffee
make kid breakfast x 3
give "set table" instructions
repeat "set table" instructions
sip coffee
check FB and email hoping for message from the hubby
make self breakfast
nibble breakfast while refilling kid breakfast/juice x 3
give "find shoes and socks" instructions
get littlest shoes and socks on
dump breakfast plates into sink if dishwasher is clean (probably is, see end of day cleaning)
grab items needed for school/gym towel/water bottle
grab diaper bag
help find random missing shoe
grab cell phone 
check email one more time to see if husband happened to send an email since last time it was checked
herd three to the van
buckle up
go to school/drop off at school
go to gym/drop off at child care/work out
pick up kid(s) from child care/back to van
one quick errand
pick up kid(s) from school
head back home
give "put coats and shoes away" instructions
repeat instructions
make lunch
help find missing toy of some sort
littlest up for nap
insist on quiet time for two biggers
try to clean up kitchen
sweep mound of crumbs from littlest's breakfast which is now fairly cemented to the floor
assess toy mess situation/consider picking up or holding biggers accountable
check email again (just in case)
think about blogging
decide to take care of household business (making dr. appts./paying bills/etc.)
check email again (might as well since I'm on the computer)
biggers are done with quiet time... no blogging today
throw laundry in wash
oops, realized washer still had clothes in it... re-wash those to get musty smell out
spend some time with two biggers playing/reading
get littlest up
snack time
head to afternoon activity or playground
two hours (approx.) of playtime at activity or playground
check snail mail
home for dinner
make dinner
give "set table" instructions
try to pry littlest off my leg while finishing dinner... seems to be his favorite perch at 6pm
sit down to dinner
get up for re-fills several times
clean up kitchen while supervising toy clean up
upstairs for bath
1-2-3 into the tub
1-2-3 shampooed
1-2-3 rinsed
1-2-3 dried off
clothes in the hamper/dirty diaper in the trash
supervise "tidying up time" in biggers' bedrooms
stories and song for littlest - good night
stories and song for middlest - good night
stories and song for eldest - good night
downstairs to finish cleaning up from dinner
run dishwasher... wish that it would magically empty itself before the morning
check email
email back husband
sit down
take a breath and watch a show or read a book
oh crap. there are wet clothes in the washing machine!

And THAT, my friends, is how time goes by faster than I realize and all of a sudden I find myself saying: "It's been a MONTH since I blogged last?!"  "It's been a MONTH since cleaned my bathrooms?" (Seriously, when am I supposed to do that?!) "It's been a MONTH since I cleaned out my fridge?!" (At least we're eating the food in there, so it's sort of getting cleaned out every day... right? Right?!)

Time goes too slowly while it's racing past me.  The stupid Timeless Wonder.  Makes a girl go crazy.

But no matter how the days go.... slow or fast... whether laundry gets done or not... we're always thinking of Paul and...

WEEK TWO: Another spare moment

***I started this blog yesterday, but didn't have time to finish... it's now 24 hours later, and I'm hoping to get it completed***

Merry Christmas, everyone!  I am officially thrilled that this holiday went smoothly at our house but am equally thrilled that it's over.  Now I just need to get through an Anniversary, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day and all the obvious "Day To Spend With Your Husband" celebrations will be over.  One down, three to go.  I'm hoping this one will be the most difficult for the following reasons:

Anniversary (this will be second-most-difficult): On our tenth anniversary, I will be hanging out with my sister, brother-in-law, and brand-new niece.  I bet it will be sweet and cuddley and that will make me happy!

New Year's Eve: I have pretty much always hated New Year's Eve.  I always wanted a movie-like New Year's Eve and it has NEVER happened.  Once, in college, we went out to a bar that had a huge cover charge and was trying to be "fancy".... we were downstairs and heard the countdown start upstairs so we tried to run upstairs for the big moment, but missed it.... by the time we got upstairs we realized they were counting down downstairs and we managed to miss that one too.  (What establishment hosts a fancy New Year's Eve party and doesn't coordinate the countdown?!  Who manages to miss both?!)  My best New Year's Eve was '05-'06... Paul and I at a friend's house, playing cards, toasting to "a baby in the New Year" (for them, not us) and we both ended up with new babies by the next New Year's!  So.... I don't think this year's will be too difficult, except for the moment of the kiss... but I've been missing kisses for 2 weeks, so that's nothing new.

Valentine's Day:  I'm also not a big fan of this "holiday" but still, to have Valentine's Day without the hubster will make it a little less exciting.  However.... I will either be celebrating with my Spouse Club for our half-way party OR visiting besties in VA that weekend.  Either will be exceptional.

So... now that the presents are opened and Santa is resting, I too can rest in the fact that I made it through Christmas without my favorite guy.

Below... if I can get it to work.... is a link to a bit of a video from Week Two that will be heading out to the boat in a few days.  Hopefully a weekly video will help Paul from feeling out of the loop. (It's 10 minutes long... which is long when we aren't your family... and you can hear me sing "Happy Birthday" which isn't very in-tune... but it's really for Paul and he's okay with a long video of bad singing.)

Deployment Week Two

Week One: I found a spare minute

Week One is complete.  We have survived.  It's been extremely busy, but we have managed.

The kids waiting for Santa on the firetruck.

We spent Tuesday evening with friends on base and enjoyed seeing Santa touring the neghborhood in a firetruck.  I mean really... Santa AND a firetruck?!  That's pretty much the best thing ever for my kids! The evening was a huge success in distracting us from Paul's ovbvious absense.


Wednesday was a busy day of Christmas singing at the kids' pre-school classes.  They had a great time and were excited by a surprise visit from Santa (again) after the singing was sung. Wednesday afternoon added a little more excitement with their last gymnastics class before the holiday break.  Matthew mastered some flips on the rings and he was thrilled with that.

Grace's class
(She's in the white dress - on the left)

Thursday we had a special playdate with Grace's favorite friend from school.  Apparently the playdate was just too much fun and it wore out all their good behavior.  Thursday night was a challenge with over-tired kids riding high on emotions, probably from saying good-bye to Dad and seeing Santa two days in a row. The worst of the week came on Thursday evening.... Grace had been complaining that her tummy ached for a little while.  She finally came up to me and said, "It's not my tummy Mom... it's my heart.  I miss daddy!" OH, GOODNESS ME.  How could she come up with that?!  Broke my heart.  I offered her a hug and as soon as she was cuddle up in my arms she completely burst into tears.  "I miss him because I love him." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Matthew came over and rubbed her back with me.  I cried a little too.  Fearing that we would all be puddles of tears and runny noses if I didn't do something quickly, I mentioned to them that when Daddy comes home we will meet him when he lands his plane (either one he is flying or one he is flying in with the rest of the squadron) and we get to run out to him and give him the biggest bestest hug we have ever given him.  Two sweet little faces looked up at me with big bright eyes.  Matthew was smiling the biggest smile and Grace (a little worrier) asked, "What if we aren't at the airport when he lands his plane?"  I couldn't help but laugh and promised her we would SO be there.

Friday was a decent day and ended with a fun Pity Party with the other Spouse Club wives.  My scheduled sitter was unable to come over as planned after her son had to go to the doctor and was diagnosed with croup (Booooo)... so about 4 hours before the party started, I was looking for a sitter.  Talk about Navy wives stepping up and offering babysitter numbers of even offering to babysit themselves.  THANK YOU!  I had a good time visiting with the other wives and even starting to plan our Halfway Party.  You know it's a "short" deployment when you start talking about the Halfway Party at the Pity Party.

Standing like flamingos.

I was incredibly not looking forward to the first weekend without Paul.  The weekdays are one thing; Paul's usually at work all day long; often has night flights.  It's not entirely odd for us to go a few days without him home except for sleeping.  But the weekends are another story entirely.  That is our family time.  That is my alone time.  That is my catch-up on chores, errands, running around time.  No such luck without Paul Meyer.  So I decided we were going to start the weekend off right... we headed over to Eggs N Things for breakfast (the kids devoured their breakfast which is an added bonus).  Then I took them up to the Santa Barbara Zoo.  I had heard so many good things about the zoo, particularly that it is a great one for small kids and it is!  We had a great time.  Membership purchased!  By the time we came home it was naptime for Sam, followed by a little playtime and dinner, etc.

Sam trying to climb the sledding hill.

Today was church and I was so entirely greatful.  The kids enjoy time spent in the nursery/preschool class, and I get to spend sometime getting my mind focused on what/who it needs to be focused on.  I am blessed with an awesome church that has shown great support to Paul and I in the past few weeks, as well as great friendship in general no matter a looming deployment or not.  We came home, Sam napped, the big kids and I worked hard on cleaning up and folding laundry so we could play outside after Sam woke up.  Their behavior was awesome, so we headed out in the trusty Odyssey to see some Christmas lights.  It was a great end of Week One.

My house is a mess right now.  There is stuff - laundry piles, throw pillows, shoes, dolls - everywhere.  But I just can't do it all and I'm going to let it go tonight.  I got to write and that feels good. I will clean it up tomorrow and late tomorrow night by dad will be here!  Hooray for Big Al's visit!  Weeks Two-Five are going to be soooo fun.

P.S.  Come back tomorrow for an update on my workout results!

Let the countdown begin!

(An old photo of USS Abe Lincoln)
See the funny propellor on the left side of the bridge? That's the E2-C

This morning at 7am we said our 'good byes' to Paul.  The morning was hands-down the most difficult morning I have ever had.  It is one thing for a husband and wife to say good bye and it is an entirely different thing for a dad and kids to say good bye.  The emotions for Paul and I were definitely running high; there was sadness and there was overwhelming love.  The kids handled it well since they didn't really understand what our good byes were for.  Matthew and Grace knew Mommy and Daddy were feeling sad, but Matthew just tried to be goofy (the people pleaser) and Grace was just quiet (the non-emotional one).  Sam just played football.  I'm sure in the next few weeks, particularly after Christmas, they will realize that Paul isn't home yet and perhaps that is when they will begin to understand what "deployment" means.

While we got ready for school, I vascilated between weepy and okay.  Grace's teacher gave me a hug and I turned to a pile of mush.  I got to the gym and forced myself to run a mile and started to feel a lot better.  Luckily today was a training day with Steph and she had planned a heavy workout.  For one hour I focused on making my body do what Steph told me I had to do.  There is such relief in spending time with my brain turned off and pushing my little muscles to do more than they want to do.  By the end of the hour, I felt pretty wiped out with not much more energy to give to weepiness.  But then, I talked to my mom, and then there were a few more tears.  Eventually, the kids were home from school, lunch had been eaten, Sam was down for a nap, and I could take a nice long shower.  I took a short nap  and woke up feeling like a million bucks.

Monday nights are Small Group nights, so fortunately I had a babysitter lined up and was able to take a few hours with some wonderful friends from church.  When you can't be with your hubby, it is pretty darn good to be with good friends.  We even blew off doing the Bible study and played board games!  When you can't be with your hubby, it is really darn good to be with good friends and board games! I tucked the kids into bed when I came home, emailed a "good night" to Paul (who did indeed make it safely onboard earlier today) and now have an hour or so to relax. Not a bad ending to a not-so-happy day.

I am feeling relatively confident in our family's ability to make it through this deployment with a minimal amount of tears and stress and frustration.  (Knock on wood.) Paul and I have done quite a bit of prep work in getting ourselves "set up for success" and our expectations managed.

Our Deployment Survival Kit:
X Arm pillow for Betsy (picture will be posted on Friday)
X Build-a-Bears with Daddy's voice message for each kiddo (thanks for the idea, Ash!)
X A t-shirt of Paul's for each kid to snuggle with at night
X Jar o'Kisses from Daddy for each kid each night
X Pictures of all of each of us with Paul (for us and for him)
X Digital photo frame loaded with photos for Paul
X Envelopes/paper and color-coded stickers so the kids will see the sticker and know it's a card from Daddy for them.
X Lots of videos of Daddy reading nighttime books to the kids
X New camera for Mommy to take video of kids for Daddy (Merry Christmas, me!)

Deployment Expectations:
We will email every day assuming the email is up and running on the ship.
We will Skype when Paul is in port.
We will get a handwritten note from Paul (hopefully once a month - Paul, are you reading this?!) hee hee.
We will send mail to Paul every week... hopefully the aircraft carrier made a weight allowance for lots of finger-paintings and such from the Meyer kids.

....only 142 days left!

A little juxtaposition.....

(Tonight's is a deployment post, tomorrow's will be also - I'm sure, then we'll get back to normal life.)

jux·ta·po·si·tion

   [juhk-stuh-puh-zish-uhn]  Show IPA

noun

1.

an act or instance of placing close together or side by side,especially for comparison or contrast.

2.

the state of being close together or side by side.

My husband leaves, signaling the beginning of the end of his deployment.

My husband leaves, signaling the beginning of the end of my friend's husband's deployment.

Butterflies in my stomach thinking about him leaving. 

Butterfies in my stomach thinking about him coming home.

Not wanting to fall asleep on the night before deployment.

Not being able to fall asleep on the night before homecoming.

The clock ticking by too quickly during our last hours together.

The clock ticking by much too slowly during the last hours apart.

Wondering how I'm going to make it through the months without him.

Wondering how I DID make it through the months without him. 

A Case of PDD - Pre-Deployment Dread

And so begins the countdown clock.  Deployment will begin in a month, give or take (please, please give) a day or two.  Every military family knows the dates will wibble and wobble based on ship movements and who gets to fly-on or walk-on; but a month is pretty much what we are looking at.  It seems like a long time and a short time... all at the same time.  With each day, though, the knot in the pit of my stomach grows and is more difficult to ignore.  It's a severe case of Pre-Deployment Dread.

If you are unfamiliar with PDD, let me break it down for you*:

Causes: PDD is generally caused by an upcoming military deployment.  In most cases, the severity of the dread is directly related to the length of the aforementioned deployment.

Types: PDD can be present in two differing, yet quite similar forms:
              A. Actual Pre-Deployment Dread: This form is evident when a deployment date is real and set     on the calendar. (A)PDD shows more consistent and long-lasting symptoms.  Oftentimes, symptoms are intense and experienced on a daily basis.
             B. Rumored/Hypothetical Pre-Deployment Dread: This form of PDD is experienced when military spouses have discussions with other military spouses or their spouse about the possibility of a deployment.  At times this dread can show itself when a military spouse is sitting alone and just thinking of possibilities in their spouse's career. (R/H)PDD has symptoms that generally last only as long as the discussion/day-dreaming session. (R/H)PDD can prove to be as intense as (A)PDD.


Symptoms: A person experiencing PDD may experience all or some of the following:
      * An undeniable knot in the pit of your stomach making you feel like you may 'toss your cookies' at any moment.
      * Always being on the brink of tears and never quite knowing when they are going to get tired of waiting just beneath the surface and erupt.
      * An intense need to hang on to your spouse when giving hugs.... just about when a "normal" hug would end, you just need to hang on a little bit longer.
      * The inability to complete a chore during the day without thinking of the next stretch of months when you will be doing the chore alone.
      *  Continually looking at the calendar and doing mental math as to how many more weeks or days you have until D-Day.
      * Grumpily picking up supplies to make calendar squares.
      * Day-dreaming of holidays and family celebrations that you will celebrate with your 'better half' half a world away... and either feeling super-sad, super-irritated,  or super-bold in your determination to make it a fun celebration anyway... or feeling all three emotions at the same time.
      * Alternating between a deep sense of pride in the military branch that your family is serving in and a deep sense of hatred; always knowing full well you will circle back around to the pride.
      * Making many mental lists of how you are going to improve yourself, organize your house, keep your kids busy, stay in touch with your spouse, and somehow enjoy the deployment.
      * Making many metal lists of how you are going to stretch out in the bed at night, watch whatever you want to on television, eat popcorn for dinner if you so feel like it, and not pick up dirty underwears off the floor.
      * Snapping at your spouse for no particular reason, while knowing deep down it's just because you don't want him to leave.

Diagnosis: If you answer "yes" to these three questions, you can go ahead an diagnose yourself with PDD:
1. Is/Will your spouse be deployed in the future?
2. Do you feel grumpy, sad, and dread-ful about it?
3. Are you experiencing any of the listed symptoms?

Treatment: Treatment for PDD varies depending on each person's personality.  Some treatments include:
       * Allow yourself a Day of Dread. Just wallow in it for a bit but tell yourself you're going to have to get over it.
       * When suffering the symptom of needing longer hugs from your spouse, go ahead and hug longer. Hug more often.
       * Make those mental lists into real lists that you can add to instead of re-hashing them in your mind.
       * Talk to another military spouse about how your feeling, but make sure it doesn't turn into a complete complain fest for you both... otherwise symptoms will most likely increase.
       * Talk to your spouse about your dread.  (I highly recommend beginning this conversation with something along the lines of, "I'm not mad at YOU and I'm not blaming you, I know you would stay home if you could.  I just want to tell you how I feel.")
       * Pray about it.  No one on Earth understands you better than the Big Guy Upstairs.
       * Go shopping, but instead of picking up random things, try to come up with something that will be useful during the deployment.  (a workout DVD, a long-term craft, cards to mail to the hubster, a bottle of wine for each month of deployment, whatever works for you... )
       * Accept that it just sort of SUCKS right now, but before long you'll be experiencing Deployment Daze and then Homecoming Highs.


*PLEASE NOTE: this is completely made up and is just what is floating through my head when I'm not making mental lists of Things I will Hate During Deployment and Things I will Enjoy During Deployment.  If you are experiencing real-life symptoms of depression, please please please respect that and go talk to your doctor about it. 


And in honor of my PDD, here's a picture of my most-favorite Deployer (from two years & one kid ago... but it's my ultimate favorite photo):