Now that we have finally made some progress on our Deployment Countdown and the homecoming date "seems" to be as certain as Navy-certain gets, I think the kids and I have finally gotten into the deployment groove. We all still miss Paul every day, but maybe the missing him is starting to be the norm. We know that each night we go to bed is one less night of blowing kisses to him in the air, and every morning we wake up is one morning closer to the morning we get to put on our homecoming outfits and go pick him up at the squadron. So we are groovin'; I feel like I am growing through this experience. Groovin' and growing is good for this Momma's soul.
Perhaps the groove is feeling pretty good since we just had two very special visitors in the last month. Paul's mom was out here for a week and when I say "Paul's mom" I mean "The Laundry Queen." No kidding. First time since Paul left in December that ALL of our clothes were clean. Dishes were cleaned and unloaded from the dishwasher BEFORE a whole other load of dirty dishes piled up on the counter. I kind of forgot those things were possible. In fact, Paul's mom did something even more impossible... or even more important... she gave me room to breathe, to play with the kids, and brought my enthusiasm for motherhood way way WAY up. Enthusiasm is good for this Momma's soul.
Our other special visitor was my childhood neighbor. We've known eachother since I was 6 1/2. We played Barbies, kick-the-can, and volleyball together. We lived nextdoor to each other and, for one summer, in the same apartment together. Her visit was a bunch of fun and totally, completely comfortable. Stacy helped the kids and I plant one of our neighborhood's garden boxes. We planted a bunch of herbs, strawberries (per Matthew's request), and wild flowers. We also planted a few flower boxes for our backyard - "red flowers" (per Grace's request). We watched a terrible movie and laughed all the way through it. We went to the gym two mornings in a row and laughed all the way through both of those mornings. Laughter is definitely good for this Momma's soul.
To top off all my soul nourishment, I got to spend this afternoon with a dear friend, her husband, and their tiny, perfect, completely adorable 2-day-old baby boy. Oh sweet Heaven, is he cute! Sweet baby smell, tiny little teeney diaper butt, cute little baby yawns, and those wonderous eyes peaking out and blinking and blinking are good for this Momma(who will not be having another tiny miracle of her own)'s soul.
So here we are on a Saturday night, watching a movie, and having a "camp out" in the family room. The kids and I are groovin' and I am feeling like my soul is ready for the next 4 months... or at least 4 weeks, when my mom visits!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
It Is What It Is... and It Won't Be What It Was Supposed To Be
I really really don't like the saying "It is what it is." My dad says it a lot. My husband says it a lot. It seems to be the man's verbal version of a shoulder shrug. I would prefer if we could discuss "it." What is "it"? How does "it" make you feel? Why is "it" happening? What can we do to change "it"? If "it" isn't going to go away, how can we best deal with "it?" See..... there's soooooo much to talk about! It is what it is.... and then some, thank you very much.
BUT.... alas, it is what it is. Paul's 4 1/2 month deployment has been extended (again) to 8 months. WHAT?! Remember, how I wrote before he left that this deployment was a "short" one? Yeah, not really anymore. "It" is shorter than some... but now kind of longer than most. Lame.
So here I am, 9 days after finding out that we have not 2 months left, but 6 months. (It's weird to be 2 1/2 months into a 4 month deployment and know that you have 6 months left... "it" is odd math.) Nevertheless, I'm sitting here telling myself it is what it is. I've been sad, very very sad; I've been mad; I've been lonely and frustrated and defeated. Now it is time to accept it, embrace it, and move on.
In order to accept "it" I've had very little work to do. When the Navy has your husband out in the middle of an ocean on a great big gray boat and then tells you they aren't letting him come home until they are good and ready, there's not much for a girl to do. You can't really say "No! I do not accept this information." So, I accepted it. Begrudgingly. It is what it is and it won't be what it was supposed to be.
Next came the task of embracing "it." This one has taken about a week or so. I'm not sure I've exactly embraced it fully, but I'm getting there. I have a pretty solid faith in God and His plan for me and my family. I know that God knows what is going on and I know He knows how I feel about it. I know that there are many people at our church praying for our family during this deployment and I know those prayers are making a difference. I can feel them making a difference! A lot of people say that everything happens for a reason, but I'm not sure how I feel about that in this situation. I can see this situation for what "it" is... other aircraft carriers are needing maintenance, other countries are acting goofy, my husband is in the military. So I'm not sure if God has a bigger, deeper reason for this, but I do know that "it" will strengthen my relationship with Him because I absolutely cannot get through the tough days and nights without a good amount of prayers. This one is so much bigger than me. It is what it is and it won't be what it was supposed to be.
Lastly, the time has come to move on. I have taken down our countdown calendar. I have (sort of) stopped looking for my homecoming outfit. Sitting around and thinking about what the countdown should be is not helpful and won't make my real countdown go any faster, so I had to stop doing that. I'm moving on. I bought myself tickets to see Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw (WOOOOHOOOO)... which I thought would be a fun concert to see with Paul, but now know it will be a fun concert to see with friends. I am planning a weekend escape to Vegas with some of my Navy friends... we will be coming from California, Washington, Maryland, and Virginia. You know you're a Navy wife when. I broke the news to the kids that Daddy won't be home until after the summer is over. It is what it is and it won't be what it was supposed to be.
Accepting "it" required me to mentally be okay with the information; embracing "it" required me to find some emotional and spiritual peace with the information; and moving on is still requiring me to be active and physically make the choice to not sit around and mope or worry or feel defeated.
I'm pretty sure my husband and my dad can just say "it is what it is," and they don't need to blog about all of it, but what can I say..... it is what it is.
BUT.... alas, it is what it is. Paul's 4 1/2 month deployment has been extended (again) to 8 months. WHAT?! Remember, how I wrote before he left that this deployment was a "short" one? Yeah, not really anymore. "It" is shorter than some... but now kind of longer than most. Lame.
So here I am, 9 days after finding out that we have not 2 months left, but 6 months. (It's weird to be 2 1/2 months into a 4 month deployment and know that you have 6 months left... "it" is odd math.) Nevertheless, I'm sitting here telling myself it is what it is. I've been sad, very very sad; I've been mad; I've been lonely and frustrated and defeated. Now it is time to accept it, embrace it, and move on.
In order to accept "it" I've had very little work to do. When the Navy has your husband out in the middle of an ocean on a great big gray boat and then tells you they aren't letting him come home until they are good and ready, there's not much for a girl to do. You can't really say "No! I do not accept this information." So, I accepted it. Begrudgingly. It is what it is and it won't be what it was supposed to be.
Next came the task of embracing "it." This one has taken about a week or so. I'm not sure I've exactly embraced it fully, but I'm getting there. I have a pretty solid faith in God and His plan for me and my family. I know that God knows what is going on and I know He knows how I feel about it. I know that there are many people at our church praying for our family during this deployment and I know those prayers are making a difference. I can feel them making a difference! A lot of people say that everything happens for a reason, but I'm not sure how I feel about that in this situation. I can see this situation for what "it" is... other aircraft carriers are needing maintenance, other countries are acting goofy, my husband is in the military. So I'm not sure if God has a bigger, deeper reason for this, but I do know that "it" will strengthen my relationship with Him because I absolutely cannot get through the tough days and nights without a good amount of prayers. This one is so much bigger than me. It is what it is and it won't be what it was supposed to be.
Lastly, the time has come to move on. I have taken down our countdown calendar. I have (sort of) stopped looking for my homecoming outfit. Sitting around and thinking about what the countdown should be is not helpful and won't make my real countdown go any faster, so I had to stop doing that. I'm moving on. I bought myself tickets to see Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw (WOOOOHOOOO)... which I thought would be a fun concert to see with Paul, but now know it will be a fun concert to see with friends. I am planning a weekend escape to Vegas with some of my Navy friends... we will be coming from California, Washington, Maryland, and Virginia. You know you're a Navy wife when. I broke the news to the kids that Daddy won't be home until after the summer is over. It is what it is and it won't be what it was supposed to be.
Accepting "it" required me to mentally be okay with the information; embracing "it" required me to find some emotional and spiritual peace with the information; and moving on is still requiring me to be active and physically make the choice to not sit around and mope or worry or feel defeated.
I'm pretty sure my husband and my dad can just say "it is what it is," and they don't need to blog about all of it, but what can I say..... it is what it is.
 |
| Our previous countdown calendar... after the news of the first extention. It's now in the trash (except for the pictures). |
Sunday, February 5, 2012
An Hour to Spare?!
Somehow. I don't know how. I probably couldn't do it again if I tried. I have an HOUR to spare before heading to church this morning!!! Perhaps pigs are flying outside, I don't know.
So I wanted to take a few minutes and catch up on the blog a bit. "Blog a bit." I like that for some reason.
The last two weeks have not been the best. The kids and I were visited by the stomach bug over a six day period. There's nothing like being woken in the night to crying and walking into the kid's room to be hit with "that smell." The smell of throw-ups. Y.U.C.K. And then comes the joyful task of cleaning up the child, cleaning up the sheets... what do you do with those dirty dirty sheets? we don't have a utility sink that is handy for rinsing such business in this house. Yuck.... then re-making the beds, getting a bucket for the next throw-ups, getting the child tucked back into bed, and finally getting yourself tucked back into bed. Perhaps the best part of the whole night is getting back into bed (alone... since the hubby is somewhere on the other side of the world) and trying to get that smell out of your nose and THEN wondering if your stomach is swirling because you just cleaned up someone else's throw-ups or because you, yourself, are going to be having throw-ups. Joy. Luckily my mom was also visiting, luckili-er (I'm sure that's a word) she managed to leave WITHOUT suffering from the bug. So the day that I was suffering, she had the kids downstairs or out of the house and I was able to rest.
Then last week, just after we were fully recovered and my mom was safely back in the Midwest, we all got a stuffy-nosed, sore-throated cold. The kids are fully recovered after missing a few days of school... and a friend's birthday party (boo.).. and I am finally on the mend. I have a red nose that would make Rudolph envious from all of my nose-blowing. Speaking of nose-blowing... has anyone used the Kleenex Cool Touch tissues?? I picked them up by accident at the store and am totally amazed by these things. When you pull them out of the box, they are COOL... to the touch. I don't know how they make them cold, but they are! So strange. I do wish they had a little more soothiness when you use them, but the coolness is pretty nice.
So here we are... finally turning the corner towards health, I hope. And we are also facing... drum roll please.... a TWO MONTH EXTENSION to the deployment. Boo. With a capital "B." Absolutely Boo. The ironic part was that we found out about our 8-ish week extension when we had just completed 7 weeks. So... the past 7 weeks have gotten us absolutely NO closer to our homecoming date. I spent one day being mad and one day being very sad. But now it has sunk in, my expectations for the next few months have adjusted... remember my Timeless Wonder post... this is the epitome of a Timeless Wonder. I will blog more about my feelings of the extension another day. Stay tuned, I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats!
Despite the sicks, colds, and extension, things are still going pretty well. I give a huge amount of credit to my church and the small group that I am part of. We go to an awesome non-denominational Christian Church called Catalyst in Ventura. They are the most down-to-earth group of people I have ever attended church with. They are kind, welcoming, and caring... without being cheesy. My small group is bringing me dinner once a week, they pray for me and the kids, they pray for Paul without me having to ask for it. Say what you want... those prayers really really work. Every week when I go to church people ask how Paul is doing, other moms offer to help with the kids if I need it, I'm invited to play dates. The church is sending Paul some thank-you notes, two or three months of weekly messages on a flash drive, the info for a financial study we are doing with our small group, and a phone card so he can call home. How cool is that?! It's so nice to have other people acknowledge that Paul is away... and it's not just me thinking of him every day, others are too. Today... in thirty minutes now... I get to say "Thank you" to our church by sharing a little bit of our deployment story and I'm grateful to have the chance to let them know I appreciate all they do!
Well, it's been thirty minutes with a few interruptions from the kiddos, so it's time to finish getting ready and pack up a diaper bag... and try to add a photo to this post. It's been nice chatting with you and catching you up on the latest. Enjoy your Sunday!
Here's a photographic representation of life today:
So I wanted to take a few minutes and catch up on the blog a bit. "Blog a bit." I like that for some reason.
The last two weeks have not been the best. The kids and I were visited by the stomach bug over a six day period. There's nothing like being woken in the night to crying and walking into the kid's room to be hit with "that smell." The smell of throw-ups. Y.U.C.K. And then comes the joyful task of cleaning up the child, cleaning up the sheets... what do you do with those dirty dirty sheets? we don't have a utility sink that is handy for rinsing such business in this house. Yuck.... then re-making the beds, getting a bucket for the next throw-ups, getting the child tucked back into bed, and finally getting yourself tucked back into bed. Perhaps the best part of the whole night is getting back into bed (alone... since the hubby is somewhere on the other side of the world) and trying to get that smell out of your nose and THEN wondering if your stomach is swirling because you just cleaned up someone else's throw-ups or because you, yourself, are going to be having throw-ups. Joy. Luckily my mom was also visiting, luckili-er (I'm sure that's a word) she managed to leave WITHOUT suffering from the bug. So the day that I was suffering, she had the kids downstairs or out of the house and I was able to rest.
Then last week, just after we were fully recovered and my mom was safely back in the Midwest, we all got a stuffy-nosed, sore-throated cold. The kids are fully recovered after missing a few days of school... and a friend's birthday party (boo.).. and I am finally on the mend. I have a red nose that would make Rudolph envious from all of my nose-blowing. Speaking of nose-blowing... has anyone used the Kleenex Cool Touch tissues?? I picked them up by accident at the store and am totally amazed by these things. When you pull them out of the box, they are COOL... to the touch. I don't know how they make them cold, but they are! So strange. I do wish they had a little more soothiness when you use them, but the coolness is pretty nice.
So here we are... finally turning the corner towards health, I hope. And we are also facing... drum roll please.... a TWO MONTH EXTENSION to the deployment. Boo. With a capital "B." Absolutely Boo. The ironic part was that we found out about our 8-ish week extension when we had just completed 7 weeks. So... the past 7 weeks have gotten us absolutely NO closer to our homecoming date. I spent one day being mad and one day being very sad. But now it has sunk in, my expectations for the next few months have adjusted... remember my Timeless Wonder post... this is the epitome of a Timeless Wonder. I will blog more about my feelings of the extension another day. Stay tuned, I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats!
Despite the sicks, colds, and extension, things are still going pretty well. I give a huge amount of credit to my church and the small group that I am part of. We go to an awesome non-denominational Christian Church called Catalyst in Ventura. They are the most down-to-earth group of people I have ever attended church with. They are kind, welcoming, and caring... without being cheesy. My small group is bringing me dinner once a week, they pray for me and the kids, they pray for Paul without me having to ask for it. Say what you want... those prayers really really work. Every week when I go to church people ask how Paul is doing, other moms offer to help with the kids if I need it, I'm invited to play dates. The church is sending Paul some thank-you notes, two or three months of weekly messages on a flash drive, the info for a financial study we are doing with our small group, and a phone card so he can call home. How cool is that?! It's so nice to have other people acknowledge that Paul is away... and it's not just me thinking of him every day, others are too. Today... in thirty minutes now... I get to say "Thank you" to our church by sharing a little bit of our deployment story and I'm grateful to have the chance to let them know I appreciate all they do!
Well, it's been thirty minutes with a few interruptions from the kiddos, so it's time to finish getting ready and pack up a diaper bag... and try to add a photo to this post. It's been nice chatting with you and catching you up on the latest. Enjoy your Sunday!
Here's a photographic representation of life today:
 |
| Kleenex Cool Touch, Clorox Wipes, Hand Sanitizer, Theraflu (I swear by their nighttime one in particular), Keurig Folgers French Vanilla coffee, and my Bible |
Saturday, January 28, 2012
The Timeless Wonder: Deployment
So it's been a month since the last time I found time to write. A month? A month! How is that even possible?! Oh, wait, I know.... I'm living with the Timeless Wonder. Essentially, during deployment, "time" means NOTHING.
On one hand, it seems like time is going so s.l.o.w.l.y. It hasn't even been 7 weeks since we started this big, bad adventure of deployment. I feel like I haven't seen my husband in-person for AGES. I haven't had a dinner with him in EONS. I haven't snuggled up and watched a movie with him in SUCH A LONG TIME.
How is it possible we've only been doing this for 7 weeks and we have sooooooo many more weeks left?!
Time must be slowing down. I mean, really, it must be. Like, the Earth is rotating at a slower pace making every day stretch on forever. Is this possible? I've checked the news blogs and all, but no one else is commenting on longer days, weeks, or months... so I guess it must be the Timeless Wonder.
Then on the other hand, there NEVER seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done.
Let's do a little daily run-through, shall we:
A Day in the Life of Momma B with the Three
wake up
give "get dressed" instructions to the bigger kids
get self dressed/brush teeth/brush hair
get littlest up/diapered/dressed
downstairs
make coffee (am considering moving the Keurig into my bedroom...is that weird?)
sip coffee
make kid breakfast x 3
give "set table" instructions
repeat "set table" instructions
sip coffee
check FB and email hoping for message from the hubby
make self breakfast
nibble breakfast while refilling kid breakfast/juice x 3
give "find shoes and socks" instructions
get littlest shoes and socks on
dump breakfast plates into sink if dishwasher is clean (probably is, see end of day cleaning)
grab items needed for school/gym towel/water bottle
grab diaper bag
help find random missing shoe
grab cell phone
check email one more time to see if husband happened to send an email since last time it was checked
herd three to the van
buckle up
go to school/drop off at school
go to gym/drop off at child care/work out
pick up kid(s) from child care/back to van
one quick errand
pick up kid(s) from school
head back home
give "put coats and shoes away" instructions
repeat instructions
make lunch
help find missing toy of some sort
littlest up for nap
insist on quiet time for two biggers
try to clean up kitchen
sweep mound of crumbs from littlest's breakfast which is now fairly cemented to the floor
assess toy mess situation/consider picking up or holding biggers accountable
check email again (just in case)
think about blogging
decide to take care of household business (making dr. appts./paying bills/etc.)
check email again (might as well since I'm on the computer)
biggers are done with quiet time... no blogging today
throw laundry in wash
oops, realized washer still had clothes in it... re-wash those to get musty smell out
spend some time with two biggers playing/reading
get littlest up
snack time
head to afternoon activity or playground
two hours (approx.) of playtime at activity or playground
check snail mail
home for dinner
make dinner
give "set table" instructions
try to pry littlest off my leg while finishing dinner... seems to be his favorite perch at 6pm
sit down to dinner
get up for re-fills several times
clean up kitchen while supervising toy clean up
upstairs for bath
1-2-3 into the tub
1-2-3 shampooed
1-2-3 rinsed
1-2-3 dried off
clothes in the hamper/dirty diaper in the trash
supervise "tidying up time" in biggers' bedrooms
stories and song for littlest - good night
stories and song for middlest - good night
stories and song for eldest - good night
downstairs to finish cleaning up from dinner
run dishwasher... wish that it would magically empty itself before the morning
check email
email back husband
sit down
take a breath and watch a show or read a book
oh crap. there are wet clothes in the washing machine!
And THAT, my friends, is how time goes by faster than I realize and all of a sudden I find myself saying: "It's been a MONTH since I blogged last?!" "It's been a MONTH since cleaned my bathrooms?" (Seriously, when am I supposed to do that?!) "It's been a MONTH since I cleaned out my fridge?!" (At least we're eating the food in there, so it's sort of getting cleaned out every day... right? Right?!)
Time goes too slowly while it's racing past me. The stupid Timeless Wonder. Makes a girl go crazy.
But no matter how the days go.... slow or fast... whether laundry gets done or not... we're always thinking of Paul and...
On one hand, it seems like time is going so s.l.o.w.l.y. It hasn't even been 7 weeks since we started this big, bad adventure of deployment. I feel like I haven't seen my husband in-person for AGES. I haven't had a dinner with him in EONS. I haven't snuggled up and watched a movie with him in SUCH A LONG TIME.
How is it possible we've only been doing this for 7 weeks and we have sooooooo many more weeks left?!
Time must be slowing down. I mean, really, it must be. Like, the Earth is rotating at a slower pace making every day stretch on forever. Is this possible? I've checked the news blogs and all, but no one else is commenting on longer days, weeks, or months... so I guess it must be the Timeless Wonder.
Then on the other hand, there NEVER seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done.
Let's do a little daily run-through, shall we:
A Day in the Life of Momma B with the Three
wake up
give "get dressed" instructions to the bigger kids
get self dressed/brush teeth/brush hair
get littlest up/diapered/dressed
downstairs
make coffee (am considering moving the Keurig into my bedroom...is that weird?)
sip coffee
make kid breakfast x 3
give "set table" instructions
repeat "set table" instructions
sip coffee
check FB and email hoping for message from the hubby
make self breakfast
nibble breakfast while refilling kid breakfast/juice x 3
give "find shoes and socks" instructions
get littlest shoes and socks on
dump breakfast plates into sink if dishwasher is clean (probably is, see end of day cleaning)
grab items needed for school/gym towel/water bottle
grab diaper bag
help find random missing shoe
grab cell phone
check email one more time to see if husband happened to send an email since last time it was checked
herd three to the van
buckle up
go to school/drop off at school
go to gym/drop off at child care/work out
pick up kid(s) from child care/back to van
one quick errand
pick up kid(s) from school
head back home
give "put coats and shoes away" instructions
repeat instructions
make lunch
help find missing toy of some sort
littlest up for nap
insist on quiet time for two biggers
try to clean up kitchen
sweep mound of crumbs from littlest's breakfast which is now fairly cemented to the floor
assess toy mess situation/consider picking up or holding biggers accountable
check email again (just in case)
think about blogging
decide to take care of household business (making dr. appts./paying bills/etc.)
check email again (might as well since I'm on the computer)
biggers are done with quiet time... no blogging today
throw laundry in wash
oops, realized washer still had clothes in it... re-wash those to get musty smell out
spend some time with two biggers playing/reading
get littlest up
snack time
head to afternoon activity or playground
two hours (approx.) of playtime at activity or playground
check snail mail
home for dinner
make dinner
give "set table" instructions
try to pry littlest off my leg while finishing dinner... seems to be his favorite perch at 6pm
sit down to dinner
get up for re-fills several times
clean up kitchen while supervising toy clean up
upstairs for bath
1-2-3 into the tub
1-2-3 shampooed
1-2-3 rinsed
1-2-3 dried off
clothes in the hamper/dirty diaper in the trash
supervise "tidying up time" in biggers' bedrooms
stories and song for littlest - good night
stories and song for middlest - good night
stories and song for eldest - good night
downstairs to finish cleaning up from dinner
run dishwasher... wish that it would magically empty itself before the morning
check email
email back husband
sit down
take a breath and watch a show or read a book
oh crap. there are wet clothes in the washing machine!
And THAT, my friends, is how time goes by faster than I realize and all of a sudden I find myself saying: "It's been a MONTH since I blogged last?!" "It's been a MONTH since cleaned my bathrooms?" (Seriously, when am I supposed to do that?!) "It's been a MONTH since I cleaned out my fridge?!" (At least we're eating the food in there, so it's sort of getting cleaned out every day... right? Right?!)
Time goes too slowly while it's racing past me. The stupid Timeless Wonder. Makes a girl go crazy.
But no matter how the days go.... slow or fast... whether laundry gets done or not... we're always thinking of Paul and...
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The Story of Us: Girl Meets Boy
Today, my husband and I are celebrating 10 years of marriage. We are many many miles apart, but our hearts are definitely linked. In honor of our celebration, I will tell you "our" story. Sit back, relax, grab your reading glasses if necessary... it's a bit of a long story...
SUMMER 1993
I just finished 7th grade of Catholic School; Paul just graduated from the local public junior high. Let's add two more characters: My sister, who just graduated from Catholic School and will begin freshman year at the local public high school, and my neighbor, who is also graduating from the local junior high with Paul amd will be going to the same high school as my sister. They are my link to Paul. My neighbor kindly invited her friends (Paul included) over to her house to introduce them to my sister. I'm not sure if I met Paul that day, but I know I saw him. He was amazing. Blond hair with a little Beverly-Hills-90210-esque style with his bangs. He was tan and oh-so mature.... you know... as a soon-to-be freshman.
Paul claims we met on the bike path while he was out riding with one of his buddies, and I was out riding with my neighbor. I claim we met at his buddy's baseball game. I'm not sure, but we definitely met in the Summer of '93. I instantly developed a HUGE crush on him. He talked to me and included me while some of my sister's other friends did not. We went to Six Flags Great America as a group... the sun was bright... I got a headache... he let me wear his baseball cap. <Swoon> There was much talk of who liked who that summer. Did you like him, or did you 'like like' him? Hands would touch accidentally, or maybe NOT accidentally? We played Kick-The-Can and Capture-The-Flag and volleyball in our neighbor's yard... all of which included strategicly picked teams. We all went on bike rides; we went to the pool; we played more volleyball. My heart was flipping during most of the summer.
And then..... my family went on vacation during the end of the summer. On the night before we left, Paul called into the local radio station and dedicated a song to me: UB40's "Can't Help Falling In Love." One week later we returned and got together with the group.... but Paul wasn't around. Apparently, he had started hanging out with a new girl and they were... dating.
OCTOBER 1994
After a year at separate schools, my crush faded a bit, but I often thought of that Paul Paul Meyer. I started my freshman year and happened to pass him a few times in the hall. Again, he always said "hello" to me and didn't treat me like I was just Katie's Little Sister. Homecoming was coming up and I was not planning on going with anyone special, probably just a group of girls from the Freshman volleyball team. One night, my sister got a phone call from Paul and was talking to him in her room. Obviously, I was standing at her door listening to everything she said. I heard her start talking about Homecoming.... oh my gosh, was he asking her to Homecoming?! That would be terrible. Traitorous. "Oh Paul, You HAVE to go!" "Well, I don't think Betsy has a date yet." NO WAY! "Yeah. You should go with her." HOLY HOMECOMING DATE! "Okay, I'll ask her. I'll call you back."
A few days later, I was getting all dolled up in my Homecoming dress (a strapless dress that my mom sewed straps onto, of course; blue sequins on top, white bubble skirt on the bottom), fluffing my permed hair and making sure I didn't have any food caught in my braces. My sister's group of friends were meeting at our house for pictures before we headed out to a pre-dance dinner. Paul walked in with a bunch of guys looking as handsome as I'd ever seen him. He was wearing a tie (with Mickey Mouse on it) and his barely-there goatee made him look so manly! We took pictures as a group and as couples. As we got into the car to head to dinner he looked at me and said, "You look beautiful." I lost my breath for a moment, then recovered and said, "You do too... uh... I mean... not beautiful, but good. Handsome. You look great." Ugh.
I felt giddy and shaky and worried that my palms were too sweaty.
I made it through dinner without getting pasta on my dress and even solved the Wheel of Fortune puzzle (why was Wheel of Fortune on at a restaurant?! I don't know) by guessing "Chicago Bears" with only the E on the screen. Nice. We headed back to the high school after dinner and I can still remember walking into the gymnasium that night. I had never seen a gym decked out for a dance like that before. It was the same place I had practiced volleyball for six weeks. But that night it seemed truly magical to me... or maybe it was because Paul had grabbed my hand when we started to get jostled around in a big crowd of high school students dressed to the nines. We danced, we talked, we laughed. Then we danced again to a BoyzIIMen song and he kissed me! My first kiss ever. Amazing and completely memorable.
After Homecoming night, we dated for four weeks. When I say "dated" I mean we wrote notes back and forth a few times a day. Met in the hallway after school and kissed a few times before we headed off to football and volleyball practices. He couldn't drive yet, I couldn't drive yet.... I wasn't allowed to hang out with his older friends who could drive... clearly, it wasn't that great of a dating experience and we broke up pretty quickly. But my heart still swooned.
FALL 1994 - SPRING 1997
Through my high school years, I continued to swoon over Paul Paul Meyer. On occassion I thought maybe he liked me again.... then he definitely made it clear he did not 'like like' me.... for a few months, I made it clear that I did not even like him as a friend. The years were filled with normal high school drama. I wrote about him in my diary... I was smitten with him. I was mad at him. I did not care about him. I was friends with him. By his senior and my junior year, we had finally developed a pretty good friendship. I still swooned a tiny bit, but I knew it was better for me not to date him anymore. However, I knew that I would know him for a long time. In his Senior year yearbook, I wrote, "I'll see you in 30 years." For whatever reason, I just knew that I would know Paul Meyer when he was a grown man and we would at least be friends.
SUMMER 1997 - SUMMER 1999
For the next two years, Paul and I kept in touch over email and an occassional phone call. He had headed off to Annapois, MD, for the Naval Academy; I completed high school and headed down to University of Illinios, Chapaign-Urbana. When we were both home for the holidays or summer, we would go out to lunch and catch-up with each other. I had given up on my smitten-ness, and we had grown into good friends.
FALL 1999 - FALL 2000
On a whim and during a moment of "I don't care if these seems completely illogical" I went to a Travel Agent's office (remember those?!) and bought a plane ticket to Baltimore for Labor Day Weekend. I got back to my apartment, called Paul and said, "Guess what?! I just bought a ticket to come out and see you." My intention was that he would introduce me to some of the good-looking Naval Academy guys he knew. Huh. I flew out there, and he met me at the airport.... and all of sudden the smitten feelings came rushing back. Oh my. He had to take me to his sponsor's house and then get back on the Yard since Navy had a football game the next day. We planned to meet-up after the 1st quarter. I stood by the gate that we had previously agreed would be our meeting spot and I looked around at all the matchy-matchy guys in summer white uniforms with their black rain jackets and white covers. Talk about Where's Waldo... except the 'Waldo' I was looking for wasn't wearing a stripey shirt and a stocking cap... he was wearing the same summer whites, black jacket, and white cover. Eventually we found each other and Paul reached for my hand and we fell into step heading out for the tail-gater and his friends. After the game, we walked around the Yard for a little while. If you've never been to the Naval Academy, it is really quite fantastic (maybe not for the Mids who live there, but it is for a "girl friend" visiting for the first time). The buildings are kind of stoic, the water is right there, and the sunset just happened to be beautiful. We walked and talked and he gave me a tour of all the typical sites. And then we sat on a bench and started talking about "us." Remember, Homecoming 1994.... "I felt giddy and shaky and worried that my palms were too sweaty," that's exactly how I felt again. The weekend ended with Paul and I willing to see how a long-distance relationship might work for us. We were pretty realistic that it might not be best for us... given our history... but it felt right and definitely worth a try.
I came back out to Annapolis over Thanksgiving break and then Paul was home for Christmas break. We had our ups and downs and normal challenegs for a long-distance relationship, but by the end of Christmas break, Paul had told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too. From that point on, we spoke on the phone once a week and managed to see eachother every 6 weeks or so. (I booked my flights out to see him during particularly busy flights and volunteered to get bumped, thus earning my next free ticket to Annapolis.) We spent a month together over the summer while Paul was on leave from the Academy and our relationship took a turn from serious to life-changing. We knew we were heading toward an engagement... it was just a matter of time. Paul had a few opprotunities according to my calculations.... 1. Parent's Weekend at the Academy (I was coming out to visit too)in September, 2. His Sprint football game that I was coming out to see in October, 3. The Army/Navy game in December, and lastly, 4. Christmas.
In late fall, after a lack of a proposal, Paul and I had asked our families to meet for breakfast on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We wanted our families to meet eachother before we committed to joining them together forever. Paul had mentioned that he wanted to ask my dad for permission to marry me so I helpfully told him my schedule over break, emphasizing the time when I would be out of the house and my dad would be home. Paul insisted on hanging out with me at all those times so we split the Thanksgiving holiday between our houses, and I spent a late night at Paul's house on Thanksgiving. Surprisingly, my parents didn't care I was out so late... they must have realized we were getting so serious.
Saturday morning rolled around and I was a nervous wreck having my family and Paul's family meeting over breakfast. I didn't know what to wear... when I picked out a sweater and dress pants, my sister asked, "is that what you're going to wear? Don't you have anything cuter?" Ahhhhhh.... I'm nervous enough... leave my outfit alone. As my family got into our car to head to the restaurant, my mom casually brings the video camera with her. My mom was crazy about video taping things and making our friends watch embarassing figure skating videos. "Mom. You are NOT video taping this meal." My mom just shrugged and said, "Oh, Betsy, relax." I looked at my sister for some back up and she just said, "You know mom. Just let her bring the video camera." Geesh... Katie was surely not helping me out.
We got to the restaurant and we all said polite hellos. Paul looked like he was going to throw up. All through the meal he barely ate his food and was soooo quiet. There was only one thing going on here.... He wanted to break up... His family hated my family.... He is so going to dump me after we eat breakfast. See look... he's backing up out of his chair... oh gosh.... he's going to say something...... "Well, it's been a long time coming," holy cow, he's going to dump me right here in front of my family! "but I'm glad that we are all here together." oh no, he's getting choked up... I'm going to hold his hand under the table and give him some support even though he's breaking up with me... wait...a...minute...... what is that in his hands???? that feels like a small suede box..... I'm not even listening to what he's saying.... he's pushing his chair back! and getting down. on. one. knee!!!!!!! "Betsy, will you marry me?!"
Apparently after our late night together on Thanksgiving, Paul work up early and met with my parents while I was still asleep in bed!!!! What a little stinker. I had no idea it was coming (since I thought he was breaking up with me) because I was waiting for him to ask my dad. My mom got some of it on video and I am so mad I wore such a dumb looking sweater. Turns out my sister ALWAYS has my back.
I obviously said "YES!" and we were married 13 months later on December 29th, 2001.
NOW
Today marks TEN years as a married couple. I am often amazed that I married Paul Paul Meyer. I am thankful that we have shared so many memories together, not only as a couple, but as goofy high schoolers. And I am thrilled that I need not worry about what Paul will think of me when I am wrinkly and gray.... he loved me when I had braces and a perm.
Happy Anniversary, Paul!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
A Workout Update
Hey look at me... I am in ohio, visiting my sister and I have time to write!
So it is about time to post some of my workout results.
Weight loss: lameness. I have only lost two pounds. I am finally focusing on my diet and what I am putting into my body. I am confident that we will soon see some changes on at scale, because.....
Inches Lost: TWENTY INCHES LOST!!!!! I have lost four full inches from my waist, and inch on each bicep, two inches on my hips, and an inch on each thigh, plus a few more here and there. It is awesome to see my body respond in a good way to all the hard work I am putting in at the gym. If you have been pregnant, you know the feeling of "holy cow....is that MY body?!" well, I have started thinking that thought again, but in a good way. I am by no means "skinny" or even near my goals, but the changes are happening and it feels good.
Self-esteem: almost more importantly than anything else, I am most pleased with the increase in my self-esteem. I have completed fitness activities that I did not think I could do. I have made huge improvements on those activities and because of those successes I have found that I am much more confident in what I am capable of. I still give my trainer a dirty look when she tells me to run on the treadmill at the speed of 7 and an incline of 6.5... But I get on that treadmill and do it. I can lift more weight, hold a plank a full minute longer than when I started, and burpies aren't quite as horrible as before. It feels so good to feel stronger, and so good to be able to post that I AM STRONGER.
Again, I am not claiming Superwoman status, but I am claiming to be on my way to SuperMe status.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
WEEK TWO: Another spare moment
***I started this blog yesterday, but didn't have time to finish... it's now 24 hours later, and I'm hoping to get it completed***
Merry Christmas, everyone! I am officially thrilled that this holiday went smoothly at our house but am equally thrilled that it's over. Now I just need to get through an Anniversary, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day and all the obvious "Day To Spend With Your Husband" celebrations will be over. One down, three to go. I'm hoping this one will be the most difficult for the following reasons:
Anniversary (this will be second-most-difficult): On our tenth anniversary, I will be hanging out with my sister, brother-in-law, and brand-new niece. I bet it will be sweet and cuddley and that will make me happy!
New Year's Eve: I have pretty much always hated New Year's Eve. I always wanted a movie-like New Year's Eve and it has NEVER happened. Once, in college, we went out to a bar that had a huge cover charge and was trying to be "fancy".... we were downstairs and heard the countdown start upstairs so we tried to run upstairs for the big moment, but missed it.... by the time we got upstairs we realized they were counting down downstairs and we managed to miss that one too. (What establishment hosts a fancy New Year's Eve party and doesn't coordinate the countdown?! Who manages to miss both?!) My best New Year's Eve was '05-'06... Paul and I at a friend's house, playing cards, toasting to "a baby in the New Year" (for them, not us) and we both ended up with new babies by the next New Year's! So.... I don't think this year's will be too difficult, except for the moment of the kiss... but I've been missing kisses for 2 weeks, so that's nothing new.
Valentine's Day: I'm also not a big fan of this "holiday" but still, to have Valentine's Day without the hubster will make it a little less exciting. However.... I will either be celebrating with my Spouse Club for our half-way party OR visiting besties in VA that weekend. Either will be exceptional.
So... now that the presents are opened and Santa is resting, I too can rest in the fact that I made it through Christmas without my favorite guy.
Below... if I can get it to work.... is a link to a bit of a video from Week Two that will be heading out to the boat in a few days. Hopefully a weekly video will help Paul from feeling out of the loop. (It's 10 minutes long... which is long when we aren't your family... and you can hear me sing "Happy Birthday" which isn't very in-tune... but it's really for Paul and he's okay with a long video of bad singing.)
Merry Christmas, everyone! I am officially thrilled that this holiday went smoothly at our house but am equally thrilled that it's over. Now I just need to get through an Anniversary, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day and all the obvious "Day To Spend With Your Husband" celebrations will be over. One down, three to go. I'm hoping this one will be the most difficult for the following reasons:
Anniversary (this will be second-most-difficult): On our tenth anniversary, I will be hanging out with my sister, brother-in-law, and brand-new niece. I bet it will be sweet and cuddley and that will make me happy!
New Year's Eve: I have pretty much always hated New Year's Eve. I always wanted a movie-like New Year's Eve and it has NEVER happened. Once, in college, we went out to a bar that had a huge cover charge and was trying to be "fancy".... we were downstairs and heard the countdown start upstairs so we tried to run upstairs for the big moment, but missed it.... by the time we got upstairs we realized they were counting down downstairs and we managed to miss that one too. (What establishment hosts a fancy New Year's Eve party and doesn't coordinate the countdown?! Who manages to miss both?!) My best New Year's Eve was '05-'06... Paul and I at a friend's house, playing cards, toasting to "a baby in the New Year" (for them, not us) and we both ended up with new babies by the next New Year's! So.... I don't think this year's will be too difficult, except for the moment of the kiss... but I've been missing kisses for 2 weeks, so that's nothing new.
Valentine's Day: I'm also not a big fan of this "holiday" but still, to have Valentine's Day without the hubster will make it a little less exciting. However.... I will either be celebrating with my Spouse Club for our half-way party OR visiting besties in VA that weekend. Either will be exceptional.
So... now that the presents are opened and Santa is resting, I too can rest in the fact that I made it through Christmas without my favorite guy.
Below... if I can get it to work.... is a link to a bit of a video from Week Two that will be heading out to the boat in a few days. Hopefully a weekly video will help Paul from feeling out of the loop. (It's 10 minutes long... which is long when we aren't your family... and you can hear me sing "Happy Birthday" which isn't very in-tune... but it's really for Paul and he's okay with a long video of bad singing.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)